Micah 6:8
"What does the Lord require of you?
(Perfection in parenting? . . . No, simply)
To act justly (without letting anger cloud your judgement )
and to love mercy (remembering your own salvation)
and walk humbly (you and Leah both belong to Him)
with your God (He is her Creator & you are her mother at His request)!"
To act justly (without letting anger cloud your judgement )
and to love mercy (remembering your own salvation)
and walk humbly (you and Leah both belong to Him)
with your God (He is her Creator & you are her mother at His request)!"
There are days, most days, that I feel as though I am failing her. I take her 3 year old defiance and strong will as a personal attack on my training and discipline. I use words like 'respect' and 'obey' and 'kind heart' and 'forgiveness' in our everyday conversations . . . but each day we battle and each day . . . we battle more, harder, louder than the day before and I feel her slipping away.
Time is slipping away from me. Those precious moments with my sweet baby girl are slipping away and I can see a 13 year old girl in her eyes battling a tired mother with wounding words and defiance . . . because it works.
She wins, a lot, because I won't spank her anymore. And raising my voice makes it worse on us both, and we both end up in tears . . . but she wins, because I'm just sad. She's sad that she got in trouble again, and I'm just sad that 80% of our day together is not happy. This is not what I wanted out relationship to be.
I know . . . she's only 3. But that's why my heart is so heavy. Now is the time that I gain her trust and respect. Now is when I train up my child in the way she should go. Now is when I have her all to myself . . .to smother with love and affection but she won't let me have that much time for her, if she's always in time out!
I'm not over-reacting! She's only like this for me and these heart breaking events only happen for me, Leah and the Lord to see (& poor Preston, most times). It's been like this for more than 6 months and I'd like to say I've tried everything . . . behavior books, new discipline tactics, rewards & praise, and plenty of advice. Well, I'm done with all of that.
I don't know why it took me 6 months to recognize that the "how to raise a mother~daughter relationship" handbook has been sitting here on my desk the whole time and the Author & Creator himself is at my doorstep anytime I call on Him. So, I'm just in prayer about the matter. I'm praying for His guidance, for His forgiveness, for His words of correction, for his peace on my heart and for a much better day tomorrow.
4 comments:
just know every mother feels this way at some point! Lord knows I have MANY times with both boys! You are a great mom - don't doubt that! Love you!
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Molly and I have just come out of one of the worst periods of time we've had together, and it was awful. I just hated feeling like I couldn't enjoy her and she couldn't enjoy me because of all the conflict. It seemed nonstop. We just prayed for you and Leah before naptime....I hope the tide turns soon! Hang in there and know you are the best woman for the job!
I'm so sorry for your challenges. Is there any way I can help you like you've helped me? You are doing just want is needed. Leah will see the way, and don't worry about her love and respect for you. How much of when you were three do you remember? Hang in there. You're earning the jewels for your crown.
wow. i could have written this myself sweet friend.
hang in there ... someone told me once that the things that we strive so hard to CHANGE in our kids when they are this age ... are the very things we want them to do when they are teens. (be opinionaated, standing up for themselves, being funny )
love you - you are such a wonderful mom. you inspire me everytime i'm with you ...
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